OK, so unless you've been living under a rock or perhaps among acres of corn in western Nebraska, I think it's safe to assume the majority of us know what "coming out of the closet" means. Simply put, it's a personal acceptance of one's inner being; in my case, my homosexuality. Once the individual finds acceptance inside, they "come out" to friends and family letting their secret be known to the masses.

However, unless you've actually gone through the coming-out procedure, you most likely know little about it. It's something that shouldn't be taken lightly but often is, due to a lack of understanding.

First of all, there are quite a few stages to the process of coming out. It's not something to be thrown around lightly, so an avid amount of time and thought should be put into the procedure.

A decision to come out of the closet actually starts on the day that person's first same-sex attraction is realized. Those first "Why am I looking at someone of the same sex" questions are ultimately preparing you for the day you decide to take the big step from your "closet." These attractions follow you around everyday while you try and figure out the right way to deal with them. Should I tell someone? Pretend they aren't happening? These questions lead to the first step of coming out, which is coming out to yourself.

Getting the nerves and courage to finally accept your sexuality is one that can take years. What was once thought as a "phase" simply never went away, and has now become a reality. This part of the process is one of the hardest and can be quite emotionally draining. One day you'll be accepting, the next you'll feel guilt, a few hours later you'll be depressed. It really never ends until you make the next step, coming out to someone close to you.

Once the thought of sharing your secret with someone else crosses your mind, a lot must be taken into consideration. Why do I want to come out? Who am I going to tell? How are they going to react? This stage can often lead to more confusion and depression. As humans we naturally fear questions we don't know the answers too.

Why do I want to come out? This is without a doubt the most serious step in the process. What are your reasons behind telling someone your secret? Do you feel like you need to share this information to become fully happy? Or maybe because you want to meet other people much like yourself? If so, those are the right reasons. If your goal is to shock or hurt someone, I would rethink your reasoning.

Who am I going to tell? This is a tough question for me to answer, but it's usually easy for the person coming out to decide. Confide in someone you know is accepting of your lifestyle-you don't want the first person you tell to condemn you straight to hell do you? Try finding someone who has gone through the process already. They can potentially give you the guidance and encouragement to tell the ones you may be fearing.

How are they going to react? This is a pretty easy one to answer. There are really only two reactions to someone who is coming out. It's either OK or it's not. People will either love you for the person you are, or tell you that your homosexuality is wrong.

I now know my grandparents will never accept my homosexuality, so I don't plan on ever telling them. In my mind, you pick your own battles. My grandparents are getting old and that's not one I want to fight.

Once you have answered those three questions it's on to the one question that I found to be the most difficult. How do you tell them? My initial way was a failure. I did it over the phone. I told my parents and they both broke down; they cried for the majority of the conversation and did nothing more than condemn my announcement. I regret my decision to call them, and now personally feel the best way to tell someone would be in person or through a letter. The benefit of telling them in person is that you are there to see their reaction, which means you can respond appropriately and show them the emotion that you are feeling. On the other hand, a letter gives the reader some much-needed time to react and dwell on the issue on their own.

Coming out of the closet is a milestone in many people's lives and one that I will never forget. It's a chance to find acceptance among your friends and family, but most importantly with yourself. I hope this helped you gain a better understanding of this process, because as minuscule as it may seem to the person hearing it, it takes an unprecedented amount of courage and strength from the person saying it.

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